Liberation and Inner Beauty Shine
6/13- The first time I BC was in '04. I really had no choice at the time because my hair was breaking so much from stress and relaxers. I was mortified at first because I felt like I looked like a boy but once I put on some make up and earrings I was like "aww snaps, hold up! I look goooooood!" I felt so free and I wore it that way until it grew to about 2" then I relaxed again because I didn't know what to do with the kinky curls I'd developed.
In '06 I tried going natural but I had no idea how to take care of this now curly hair and it was a dry matted catastrophe! lol So I went to my Asian hair dresser to get another relaxer and she was horrified at my natural hair and asked me "why would you do this to yourself?" I was offended and I told her that I wasn't doing anything to myself. This is what God gave me.
That was it for me. I knew then that I had to pursue my natural hair at all costs to show myself that there was nothing wrong with my kinks but I was so lost about what to do with it. So I got some braids to grow out the relaxer a bit and started reading everything I could on natural hair. I was amazed at the wealth of information out there available to me. I became obsessed with my natural hair and I could not wait to take the braids out and do another BC so I could use what I had learned on myself. Did it! Loved it! Lived it! I loved my natural hair. It was fabulous and I never felt more free, beautiful or like ME!!!
...Until I went to hair school in 2011 and started playing with chemicals and letting other people tell me what made me beautiful. That was my biggest mistake. Since then I have been back and forth with relaxers, braids and short natural styles. Right now I am wearing braids and getting ready for another BC after 3 months of relaxers.
Poor self-esteem and concern with other people's opinions of me have held me back the last couple years in terms of starting all over with my hair but I am SOOO ready for it now. It was the best feeling to me to be natural and love myself regardless of what others thought. Being natural is for ME! It keeps me in touch with my higher self and I LOOOVE the way my hair feels.
The BC can be really hard. Especially if you're single and dating. No matter where you live most men consider longer hair to be more desirable. As women we internalize this and allow ourselves to buy into the BS that makes us think that beauty is soley in our hair but beauty is from within so after I get my full $200 wear out of these braids I am happily going to cut the remaining relaxer out of my hair and wear my BC proudly! Everyone can be beautiful after a BC. You just have to own it and rock it proudly!!