The ugly person in the mirror

by Linda
(Neptune, NJ )

I did a big chop in 2005 and have been 2 strand twisting my hair at least once a week. at the beginning I loved my hair , I loved the way it looked. Then I started getting fairy knots on the ends of my hair. I used every product in the hair supply stores , my closet is full as the stores. Today I fight with wanting to perm my hair because after 9 years you would think my hair would have gone down my back. my hair is still only as long as it was when I was getting perms, It has only grown to the end of my ears. I hate my hair.

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May 15, 2014
Right there with you!
by: Athena

I'm so right there with you gal! I started googling texturizers and trelaxing and then asked myself what my journey was about. Did I want long hair or healthy hair?... It's healthy hair for now. I have a 6 month wait rule before I do anything permanent or drastic. Until then when I crave long curly hair, I put on my best weave and give my hair a break. Good luck, let us know what you decide :)

Mar 04, 2014
I completely Understand
by: Salem

Hi! You are absolutely NOT ugly...but i have felt that way SOOOOOOOOO many times about my hair. I have been natural almost 3 years and everytime i look through pinterest at other natural girls hair, i get kinda upset. My hair shrinks back to the core even after i stretch it, and i can barely get it to look like a twist out as opposed to a TWA (no joke)...but its my hair and i am learninng to be okay with it!

Its a struggle but every time i get frustrated i just look in the mirror and keep repeating to myself that i am fearfully and beautifully made...weird hair and all!! <3

Feb 19, 2014
You are Not Ugly!!!
by: Eva

Hello Linda,

Thank you so much for writing so honestly and being vulnerable. I applaud you for just saying how you feel because I do know how it is to be disappointed with your hair. I was growing my natural hair out for five years and it definitely was not where I thought it would be at the end of the journey.

On top of that, I had a set back occur last month with a fake "natural hair" stylist. It was really a catastrophe. She set me back about a year so I know first hand about just being angry at your hair for not doing what you think it should.

I especially became upset when all of the other natural haired chicks out there were growing longer hair and I wasn't.

However, the other side of your message which is more important than hair is how you see yourself. Don't get me wrong, hair is a part of that and I'm not crazy enough to believe that it doesn't play a major part.

However, if you don't see yourself as beautiful then that becomes your reality. That, in and of itself, will haunt you in every aspect of your life.

I think the solution is to find another solution. Go to a dermatologist. Check out an alternate way of getting to your hair goals. Don't think that the only solutions to your problems can be found on the internet and/or youtube. I learned in the last 5 years things about my hair that no one on the internet could ever tell me because they didn't know my hair. Find your solution to your hair through other means. You may find that your growth pattern is connected to other things.

As my mom says, there is more than one way to skin a cat. (As I typed that I realized how crazy that really sounds).

Feel free to email me and let me know how you are doing.

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